01st september 2007 0840pm Kluang

I had an amazing trip to an amazing shopping complex in JB’s terbau Jusco yesterday.

It is a newly constructed and the biggest Jusco in Malaysia. It was the national day.. Happy belated birthday, NegaraKu Malaysia :)

Therefore it is crowded with people.. and i was there alone.. so i decided do something there.. and went for a movie..

the story line is about a man discovers that his beautiful younger wife is having an affair with a police officer, he plans her murder…the perfect murder. He readily admits to shooting his wife, He is immediately arrested and arraigned after confessing... however he had eventually destroyed all the evidence .. which later on he was proved not guilty.. the young district attorney who is prosecuting him becomes a crusader for justice.
that is not a bad movie.. i think it is conveying the message that a “fracture” can be found in every ostensibly perfect facade.. therefore everyone has their weak point..

the movies shown were a lot, included rush hour3, invasion, the secret, death train....
all of them are famous.. i have chosen a movie named "fracture"
The cinema in Jaya jusco is GSC. since it was a holiday.. There are a lot of people just like sand in the desert.. well.. what amazing was.. rush hour3 and invasion which put on show at the same time i think it was almost full... but u guess how many people was there with me for "fracture"

Answer... NON!!! not even one.. so. it meant that i was there all alone... that sound pretty cool yoy.. but indeed initially before movie started it was a bit scary.. let's imagine alone in a dark and closed room... some more it was in the cinema... the empty seats were just looked like prepared for our "good brothers"...... as it progressed.. i was actually quite enjoying.. since u can sit any of the seats... you need not off the mobile.. and i can on and off the light anytime as i like.. :) my loneliness become more lonely....

after the movie.. i got myself a cup of Baskin robbins since it had promotion.. i sit on the bench.. observing the "sands in the desert" walking around.. suddenly i felt so lonely....
i found out that lonely and being alone is totally different..
i can be being alone without feeling of lonesome.. in the other hand.. i can be lonely even there are thousand of people around me...
the feeling of loneliness got stronger when there are more and more people around me...

i can pretend myself to be happy by smiling..
i can feign myself to be smart by dressing up....
but i am really not able to hide my lonesome...

according to online oxford dictionary ... loneliness is defined as 1 sad because one has no friends or company. 2 solitary. 3 unfrequented and remote.

i have non of them..
i have a lot of friends.. at least i take them as friend.
i am not solitary... there are so many people around me...
i am not remote... as i am in a shopping complex in JB....

however i couldn't resist the invasion of loneliness...
It is so powerful... so strong.. now i understand why so many people did so many things just to draw attention from others.... like committing suicide.. or conducting some criminal....
not because of they wanted to show off.... or intended to harm anybody....

Just because of they are so lonely...
there is a psychiatric disorder called delusion of nullism.. which patient feels that he/she doesn't exist in the world....
Loneliness is really something scary..

yesterday it was a nice day since it is our national day...
Meanwhile when i wish Malaysia happy belated birthday.. i would like to wish everyone who is lonely Happy everyday.....